Divorce causes a great impact in the whole family, and when it comes to the little ones they are the most affected, since they are not aware of what’s happening and in their little heads arguments between parents doesn’t make any sense, all they want is for both parents to be happy together; so they can’t understand beyond that. And, when they experience the breakup of the family, one parent leaving and living somewhere else, they feel confused, overwhelmed and emotionally sensitive. Hence, supporting children through a divorce is crucial for their emotional well-being and adjustment to the new family dynamics.
Bellow are some ways you can help your child during this difficult time:
- Have open and honest communication: Maintaining open lines of communication with your children, encourages them to talk about and express their feelings and concerns about the divorce. Give them reassurance, show them that you care about them and that their feelings are valid – let them know that it’s normal to feel sad and hurt with the situation. Also ensure them that they are not responsible for the divorce, as children tend to easily blame themselves when it happens.
- Reassure them of your love: Make sure your children understand that the divorce does not change your love for them. Reassure them that both parents will continue to be involved in their lives and that their needs will always be met. In some cases the father of the child is not responsible enough and is not involved in the child’s life, in this case you have to do your best for your child to feel safe and loved by you alone, providing them with necessary attention and fun family moments.
- Keep conflict away from the children: avoid conflicts, arguments, or discussing sensitive matters in front of your children. Shield them from adult issues and maintain a positive co-parenting relationship, focusing on their well-being and needs.
- Provide stability and routine: Maintain an environment of stability and routine in the children’s life as much as possible. Consistency in their daily routines, school activities, and time spent with each parent can provide a sense of security and help them adjust to the changes after the divorce.
- Encourage creative emotional outlets: Allow your children to express their emotions in creative ways. Encourage healthy and fun ways of releasing emotions, things like art & craft, dancing, singing, running in the park, playing baseball, writing, embracing nature, playing with a pet, etc.. Let them know that they are not alone and that they are always welcome to talk to you or with a trusted adult. They should also know that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions and the most important thing is to blur out and express them. Provide a safe space for them to express themselves.
- Seek professional support if needed: If your children are struggling with the divorce, consider involving a therapist or counselor who is specialized in working with children and families. Professional guidance can provide additional support and tools to help them navigate their emotions and adjust to the changes.
- Foster a positive co-parenting relationship: Make sure to establish a cooperative and respectful co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse. This involves consistent communication, coordinating schedules, and making joint decisions in the best interest of the children. Working together can create a more stable and supportive environment for your children. If maintaining an effective co-parenting relationship with your ex is a problem, consider adopting a different method of communication, such as parallel parenting – where each parent has their own parenting approach and don’t attend the same child-related appointments and events. This way, by limiting direct contact with each other you are able to raise your children in a healthy environment.
Remember, each child’s response to divorce may vary, and it’s important to be patient and understanding. Provide ongoing support, reassurance, and a safe environment, where they are able to navigate and express their emotions freely. This kind of support will help them face the challenges in a more effective way and build resilience during this transition.
Contact me for further support