Moving on from a toxic relationship can be a challenging process, but it is necessary for your mental health and overall well-being. Determining your feelings and emotions can be complex, especially when it comes to a toxic relationship. It’s important to take a step back and evaluate the dynamics of the relationship objectively.
Bellow are steps to help you evaluate your relationship and if toxic, what to do to move on:
- Examine Your Emotions: Take a close look at your feelings towards your partner – are you genuinely happy, or do you feel trapped, drained, and constantly on edge? It’s essential to differentiate between love and attachment.
- Acknowledge and Accept The Truth: Evaluate the toxicity and reflect on the negative aspects of the relationship and the impact they have on your well-being. Consider whether the toxic behaviours, such as manipulation and disrespect outweigh any positive aspect of the relationship. Recognise and accept that the relationship is toxic and the environment miserable, and understand that moving on is essential for your happiness, well-being and also for your personal growth. Accept that the relationship is unhealthy and always will be, and mentalize that you deserve way better.
- Consider Self-respect and Boundaries: Assess whether you are compromising your self-respect and personal boundaries within the relationship. Are you free to be yourself, or are you constantly criticised and humiliated? Love should involve mutual respect, support, and a healthy balance of give and take. If those elements are consistently absent, it indicates a toxic dynamic.
- Seek External Perspectives: Talk to trusted family members and friends that can provide insights based on their observations and experiences. They may be able to see things more clearly since they are not in the relationship. Sometimes, an outsider’s perspective can shed light on unhealthy patterns that are difficult to recognise from within the relationship.
- Reflect On Your Long-term Happiness: Reckon your long-term goals and what you envision for your future and notice if the toxic relationship is aligning with those aspirations. Assess whether the relationship has the potential to change and grow into a healthy and fulfilling partnership or is it setting you back.
When evaluating your relationship objectively and you come to the conclusion that it has been a toxic and abusive relationship, you will have realised the living hell you’ve been going through with this person.
As painful as it may feel, breaking up or divorcing them is the best decision. With this, I have put together some steps that you may find useful to guide you through the process of moving on.
Bellow are some steps you can take to start your process of moving on:
- Cut Contact With The Abuser: Once you decide to leave this toxic person, establish strict boundaries and cut off contact with them. This may involve blocking their number, unfollowing or blocking them on social media, and avoiding places or situations where you are likely to bump into them. Creating distance will help you focus on yourself, get over them quicker, and heal faster. If you have children together, cutting contact may be difficult, but try to get someone that can talk on your behalf – at least until you’re completely over them.
- Seek Emotional Support: Reach out to family members and friends that you love and trust, those that understand your situation and can provide general support during this challenging time. As much as you need to be alone to process your emotions and settle your mind, avoid total isolation – this is the time you need love and support the most.
- Practice self-care: This is the time to prioritise self-care and engage in activities that promote your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in activities that you enjoy, exercise regularly, eat well, get enough sleep, and practice relaxation techniques, such as walks in nature, meditation or mindfulness. Taking care of yourself will aid in your recovery process.
- Reflect and learn: Take time to reflect on the toxic relationship, identify patterns or red flags that you may have missed in the beginning; learn from the experience and use it as an opportunity for personal growth. Focus on building your self-esteem and setting healthy boundaries in future relationships.
- Focus on personal growth: Use this time wisely and in your favour – engage in activities that promote personal growth and self-improvement. Pursue your passions, set goals, learn new skills, and invest in your own development. Building a fulfilling and independent life outside of the toxic relationship will help you move forward.
- Be patient and kind to yourself: Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself throughout the process. Allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship, acknowledge any emotions that arise, validate and process them. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you deserve love, respect, and a happy life.
- Seek Professional Help if you need: If you find it challenging to move on, or if the toxicity has had a severe impact on your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor – they can provide you with personalised guidance and support throughout your healing journey.
In the end, only you can determine your feelings and make decisions about your relationship. However, it’s crucial to prioritise your well-being, self-respect, and long-term happiness. If you find that the relationship is consistently toxic and detrimental to your mental and emotional health, it may be necessary to consider moving on for your own benefit. Seeking guidance from a therapist, counsellor or coach can provide valuable support and clarity as you navigate your feelings and make choices about your relationship. As soon as you recognise that you deserve better, that you deserve more, and that you don’t deserve to be mistreated, the faster you’re going to be able to move on.
Imagine this – if you can love the wrong person this much, imagine how much more amazing it would feel to love the right person?
Contact me for further support or for any questions you may have.