I understand how you feel, accepting that your marriage is over can be a difficult and emotional process. There is still a lot of attachment and connection between you and your ex, to just accept and let go straight away. Even if you want to let go at once it is quite impossible. It takes time to break the bond, it takes time to completely detach and disconnect. It is a slow and arduous process as you let go of your marriage and the life you had as yours.
While grieving may feel overwhelming, it’s important to remember that healing is possible, there are steps you can take to make this journey less arduous and painful. Bellow I share some steps that can help you navigate this journey in a smoother way:
- Allow Yourself to Grieve – Give yourself permission to feel the emotions that arise: the sadness, anger, fear, guilt or disappointment. It’s natural to experience a range of emotions all at once when you’re going through a tough process like divorce. So allow yourself to grieve and process these emotions.
- Face the Reality – It’s important to face the reality that your marriage has come to an end. Accepting this truth can be painful but necessary for moving forward. Avoid denying and clinging to false hope. Acknowledge the reasons why the marriage ended and understand that it is a part of your life story.
- Seek Emotional Support – Seek emotional support from close family members and friends, sharing your feelings and experiences with them can provide warmth, comfort and validation. And if you have someone that has gone through the heartache of divorce, even better, because they can assure you that it’s going to hurt for a while but you will be okay one day.
- Focus on Self-Care – Prioritize self-care and nurture your well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and excitement, and that help you heal. These can be: exercise, hobbies, spending time in nature, or pursuing new interests. Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally is crucial during this time.
- Shift Your Focus – Instead of dwelling on the loss, shift your focus to the opportunities for personal growth and new beginnings. See the end of your marriage as a chance to rediscover yourself, reevaluate your goals, and create a fulfilling future.
- Practice Acceptance and Forgiveness – Acceptance involves acknowledging that the past cannot be changed, and embracing whatever is in the present and keeping hopeful for the new future. Try to forgive yourself and your ex partner, as this is part of the healing process. Forgiving your ex does not mean excusing or forgetting any pain you experienced with them, it simply means you choose yourself first.
- Keep A Forward Focus Mindset – Focus on your healing and on building a fulfilling life after divorce. Notice the possibilities that lie ahead; create a vision for your future – set new goals, both short-term and long-term, and take steps towards achieving them.
- Seek Professional support If Needed – If you find that your grief is overwhelming, persistent, or interfering with your daily functioning, consider seeking professional help. Reach out to a therapists, a counselor, or a coach, as they have specialized training and expertise in providing structured and supportive framework to address your personal challenges. Having professional guidance can help you cope with painful emotions in the right way.
Accepting the end of a marriage is a personal journey that takes time and varies for everyone. You are not only grieving the end of your marriage – you are grieving the end of the life you once knew as yours; you are grieving your identity of the wife you were for so long; you are grieving the changes in your family dynamics; you’re grieving the heartache of your children and the strong impact they suffered. There is a lot to process, a lot to go through, it is a tough journey. So be kind and patient with yourself, seek support when you need, and trust that healing and new beginnings are possible.
Contact me for further support.