Revenge, an intention and action of causing harm to another, or maybe not to cause harm but to affect them in some way, yet, it causes pain not only to them but to yourself as well. This is quite tricky, since causing harm to others is also causing harm to oneself, this is because revenge comes from a negative and disempowered state of mind. For some reason you feel defeated in someway, and the only way to feel better is by making the other person feel the same way as you.
But that contradicts the whole purpose of healing, since healing comes from a place of peace and harmony. If you have the intention to hurt your ex partner, or affect them in some way, that negative emotion will never go hand in hand with the positive effect of your recovery, because healing requires positive energy. In order to attain joy and happiness you must wish the same to others, even if this person has caused you harm and hurt you profoundly.
The masking strategy of pretending and doing something to affect them will not last long, since you will get tired of pretending and not getting anywhere with that attitude. And you will notice a bitter taste of your own actions. You will notice that time is going by but the pain and bitterness are as strong as they were in the beginning, or probably stronger.
I know how hard it is to wish the best upon people who wanted nothing less than your pain. But compassion is what they need, because they are in a very dark place,; they need pity for the misery they face. We only give to others what we have, and if pain is what they have that is what they will give, they don’t want to be alone in their darkness so they try to push others with them.
No happiness can be built on top of someone’s misery. Wanting someone’s misery is a negative and trapping emotion, how can you have freeing emotions such as joy, happiness, contentment and have trapping emotions such hatred, anger, resentment at the same time?
I believe you want to surpass your misery and find joy again. You have a positive spirit and are willing to choose the path of light and freedom, otherwise you wouldn’t be here reading this article. You have much much more to gain from seeking your happiness than from seeking revenge. Seeking happiness will keep you active, creative, fit, successful. Did you notice the shift of energy just here? We want more of that light and energy, right? I don’t even need to say what revenge will give you, or actually, not give you. So let’s stick with the positive energy of happiness only.
Recognizing your negative emotions can help you prevent your relapse and provide healing. It’s okay to recognise the negative emotion in order to shift your focus to the right direction. As much as it hurts, the best way to overcome and heal from divorce is to forgive and letting go, and choose one path, one direction only – the one path that will lead you to your freedom and the happiness you desire.
Choose compassion over hatred, the reality is if they hurt you was because they were hurt themselves. Have you heard the saying, ‘hurt people hurt people?’ Isn’t that worth of compassion? You are a Warrior!