Divorce is a life crisis with intense emotional reactions. It is normal to feel angry, fearful, lost, overwhelmed and confused as you navigate through this journey. It is so difficult to cope with all the changes that happen, so it becomes a struggle to cope with the inevitable emotions that arise from it. And in this process it’s easy to turn to negative behaviours to try and cope. There are things you should do your best to avoid, as it may hinder your healing process and harm you along the way – it is important to approach the healing process with care and consideration for your own well-being.
Here are a few things you should generally avoid doing:
- Engaging in negative and destructive behaviours: Avoid turning to negative coping mechanisms such substance abuse that can affect your health; unreasonable behaviours that jeopardise your image and self-esteem; or isolating yourself from people you love that can be a source for emotional support. As I mentioned, these behaviours can hinder your healing process and impact your overall well-being. Instead find healthy ways to process your emotions to promote a faster recovery. You can find guidance in the following article: How To Process Painful Emotions In A Healthy Way
- Rushing into a new relationship: Take time for self-reflection and personal growth before jumping into a new romantic relationship. Rushing into a new relationship without addressing underlying issues can potentially lead to repeating unhealthy patterns, and as a consequence you will hurt yourself more and make yourself more miserable. Allow and give yourself adequate time to heal and rediscover yourself. Find more guidance and better understanding of this in the following articles: 1|) Who Am I After Divorce; 2) Remembering Yourself After Divorce; 3) Overcoming Divorce: Prioritise Your Mental Health;
- Involving your children in conflicts: Avoid involving your children in conflicts or using them as a means to communicate or get back at your ex-spouse, as this can be emotionally harmful to them. Instead, try as much, to protect them from any animosity between you and your former partner. Focus on creating a healthy and positive co-parenting relationship if you can, for the joy and happiness of your children.
- Neglecting self-care: Divorce can be emotionally and mentally draining, hence prioritising self-care is crucially important. Try to prioritise your physical and emotional well-being by engaging in activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, healthy eating, quality sleep, and activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
- Avoid social isolation: It’s crucial to seek support from family and friends, and also professional help from therapists or coaches during this time. Even though you need some time alone to process everything, avoid isolating yourself for a long period of time – instead reach out to your support network. Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can provide understanding, guidance, and a sense of hope.
- Avoid Dwelling on the past: While it’s natural to reflect on the past and extract lessons gained from the experience, continuously dwelling on it can hinder your progress. Instead, focus on the present moment and the possibilities for your future. Allow yourself to heal and move forward without being constantly weighed down by the past.
Remember, each individual’s experience is personal and unique, and these suggestions may not apply to every situation. It’s important to consider your own circumstances and seek guidance from professionals who can provide personalised advice and support based on your specific needs.
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