A Different Mindset Towards Transformation
When we go through any kind of hardship in life, we have three choices: we can let it define us, let it destroy us, or let it strengthen us. The end of a relationship is a period of immense turbulence, but also an opportunity for great transformation. As you try to identify everything that’s going on within your being, you are also looking to get over your relationship and start a new chapter in your life. This is the time to make wise, healthy, and life-affirming decisions, as you take on the essential task of reinventing your life and setting up structures that will allow you to thrive after this new transition. A mental shift from victim to victorious is necessary to fully rise. Even though difficult, you want to avoid feeling sorry for yourself, even if things are not going right for you at this moment.
It is normal in the beginning to dwell on the loss, to cry, to vent out to your family and friends about every last detail, but after that, even though you’re still raw, it is important to make a deliberate mind shift from seeing yourself as a victim. Regardless of what happened, or is still happening, you don’t want to make the pain of your divorce dis-empower you. Certainly, your negative feelings won’t disappear miraculously, and of course this isn’t a one-time mind shift – sadness and despair will kick in from time to time when you least expect, but know that it is in your power to take control of your emotions and turn things around. You can be hurt but still make choices that will support you along the way, which will certainly benefit you in general, even after you’re fully recovered. There are simple steps to make you whole again, and little by little you will bloom and rise more empowered than ever before. It will take time but you will get there. One day you will notice that it doesn’t hurt anymore, and that you’re ready to start creating a beautiful life for yourself.
Your Effort & Commitment To Heal
First of all I want to salute you for being here reading this article, for the simple fact that your intention with it is to help yourself – you’re looking to move on from the anguish and arrive at a higher place. So this is what I want you to know, healing from divorce takes time, grieving is a unique process; no one does it in the same way, and there is no timeline to recover, but it is up to you do what you can to heal and overcome. Look for help if you need, don’t go through the painful process on your own, find a support group, a coach, a therapist. Looking for help is a way of helping yourself. If you can do it on your own – great, but if you’re feeling desperate and not being able to cope with those strong emotions, getting support should be one thing to consider. This is you stepping up for yourself and doing what you can to recover.
Let me remind you that your effort and commitment to yourself plays an important role in your recovery. You will not see major results if you’re just waiting for a miracle to happen in order to recover, it will not happen. A way out of a situation is always to look for a solution, to look for a way out. When you start wanting to feel good and willing to take action, and do your part to recover, you open doors for the healing to start happening, you become available to new opportunities and experiences.
If you’re already doing your best, that is good enough. As long as you’re taking small actions, doing small things for yourself every day, that’s all that is needed to slowly recover. Taking one day at a time. Your effort and commitment is what will help you find your way through. With guidance and support on your side you will be able to cross over into a place of strength, wisdom and enthusiasm. I want you to believe in happiness again, believe in yourself and in conquering what you want. You are strong and capable enough to move towards a much better life.
Give Yourself Time
Healing from divorce takes time, grieving is a unique process; no one does it in the same way, and there is no timeline to recover, but it is up to you to heal and overcome. Yes, it takes time to heal, but do what you can to pull it through. Be patient, be understanding of yourself, do for you as you would do for a friend. Remember, it’s not the end of your life, it is the end of a chapter in your life, you have a whole range of opportunities waiting for you. Now is your chance to turn the page and write a new story. Spend time investing in your growth and development. You, and you alone, are in control of your life and in taking it to the next level. You need time to do more for yourself and learn more about yourself. Creating a better life requires effort and time to put yourself together, to find balance within, and change whatever needs to be changed. Your main focus should be on working on yourself, on finding your inner strength and on building your confidence, this is necessary to move towards better realisations. You need time to learn new skills and expand your horizons.
A summary of the main points, and a few tips to spark your breakthrough:
- Give yourself time
- Don’t go through this alone
- Take care of yourself, emotionally and physically
- Take time to explore your interests
- Think positively
- Read self-help books
- Keep a Journal
- Walk in nature
- Pray and meditate
- Set long term and short-term goals
- Learn a new skill
- Go to places you’ve never been before
- Do new things
- Start that diet
- Keep your mind, body and soul healthy
- Avoid power struggles and arguments with your former spouse
- Join the gym or a dancing club, or any activity of your interest
- Put some effort on how you look
- Attend learning events
- Make new connections
- Practice being more confident
- Bring out your creativity
- Get rid of toxic people
- Find a coach or mentor
- Choose to be a happier human being
Do everything to rise again. I know it’s always easier said than done, but there’s always a good side to every bad event. The breakup can be a blessing in disguise. Your reward for letting go is gaining freedom from your past, and the chance to create a new future. You are free and full of life, don’t let one little bump along the road keep you from living your life to the fullest. Appreciate the people around you, who value you enough to always stay by your side, no matter what. Make time for your family and friends who love you unconditionally. Join clubs, go to events, travel, get a new pet, focus on your goals, make new plans for the future. The list can go on and on, there are endless opportunities and adventures along your journey called Life. Give yourself another chance. Let your healing start now!
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