When we go through any kind of hardship in life, we have three choices: we can let it define us, let it destroy us, or we can let it strengthen us. The end of a relationship is a period of turbulence but also an opportunity for great transformation. As we try to identify everything that’s going on within our being, we are also looking to start rebuilding our life. This is the time to make wise, healthy, and life-affirming decisions as you take on the essential tasks of reinventing your life and setting up structures that will allow you to thrive after this transition.
A mental shift from victim to victorious is necessary to fully rise. Even though difficult, you want to avoid feeling sorry for yourself, even if things are not going right for you at this moment. It is normal in the beginning to dwell on the loss, to cry, grieve, vent out to your family and friends about every last detail, but after that, even though you’re still raw, it is important to make a deliberate mind shift from seeing yourself as a victim. Regardless of what your husband did or is still doing, you don’t want to make the pain of your divorce dis-empower you. Certainly, your negative feelings won’t disappear miraculously, and of course this isn’t a one-time mind shift – sadness and despair will kick in from time to time when you least expect, but you should know that it is in your power to turn things your way. You can be hurt but still make choices that will support you along the way, which will certainly benefit you in general, even after you’re fully recovered. There are simple steps to make you whole again. Little by little you will bloom and rise more empowered than ever before. It will take time but you will get there. One day you will notice that it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Though it’s easy to get lost in the heartache surrounding the end of your relationship your divorce can be the opportunity to draw your attention to what you really want in your life. Divorce can end the restrictions that prevented you from seeking a happier and more fulfilling life. After all, if your relationship has made you unhappy, stressed, or even depressed, then by getting out of that situation you give yourself the chance to go after what you want.
In many cases divorce is necessary, divorce can be a catalyst for positive change. If you were in a position where you simply couldn’t find happiness in your marriage then divorce is the opportunity to retake control of your life and find the future that works for you. It is the perfect opportunity to develop self-esteem, confidence and strength. Perhaps, just perhaps, your divorce is exactly what you need in order to go after something new, something better. There is absolutely no reason to settle when you have the opportunity to be free and happy again. The end of your marriage is not the end of your existence, you have the right to make a decision and make the best out of your life.
Divorce provides the freedom that allows you to open a new chapter in your life
Sometimes it’s better to let go of the things that are broken and far beyond repair, instead of wasting time trying to fix them. If a relationship cannot work then both sides need closure. Even though you may miss each other from time to time, you will gain more from the break-up and from the freedom that will allow you to look for things that will work for you, things that will enrich your lives in a beautiful way. No-one should be forced to live a life that’s filled with unhappiness, sometimes relationships simply don’t work – and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Ending a broken relationship can give you the opportunity to explore and discover something more interesting and fulfilling that will promote your joy and happiness. Divorce can give you the chance to explore other and more fulfilling relationships.
Divorce helps you escape a conflict-rich relationship
Divorce can allow you to escape a negative atmosphere and discover a new life. It can provide a sense of freedom which comes when extracting yourself from a toxic environment. With a divorce you are finally free from all the drama and in power to move on to a better and more promising life.
Divorce saves you from a narcissist
If you were a victim of narcissistic abuse you’ve probably been lied to, lied about, cheated on, taken advantage of, manipulated, gaslighted, bullied, harassed, ignored, insulted, humiliated, choked, hit, cyberstalked and shamed. With the divorce you are finally free from all the crap! This is where you experience the sweetness of emotional freedom.
With past experience you learnt how to establish and protect your boundaries. You’ve learnt what strength really is, and how those who seek to control others are the real weak ones. You’ve been to hell and back and now have the opportunity to shine again. You are now available to experience true love, and willing to know how it feels. You are free to laugh again and to love yourself unconditionally.
You have more time to relax
Marriage comes with a whole bunch of responsibilities, and you are leaner to do more for the spouse and children, whereby you end up not getting enough time for yourself. After divorce you are able to relax and spend time enjoying your own company. You have time to think and balance your thoughts, you are able to take a break and reenergize whenever you feel overwhelmed. As a single and independent person, you are able to focus on yourself more, as a result you are able to make better choices that lead to your overall well-being.
You can realise your dreams
As a couple it is more likely for your dreams to conflict with the desires of your spouse. With divorce, you are able to sit and go through your lifelong desires and plan to realize them without a second opinion. It is now, up to you to make it happen.
You get your happiness back
Doing what pleases you and spending your time as you wish is living to the fullest. Happiness comes when we realise the things we want and make it come true. After divorce you have the opportunity to explore and find out what you really want. Divorce can be the key to building the life you desire.
You get to love yourself again
After a breakup you want to be willing to work on yourself in order to raise the quality of your life. Self-care is essential to boost your self-esteem. Anything you do for your own benefit will yield positive results. Confidence and self-love empower you and are the most attractive qualities. The secret to attracting true love is to truly love yourself first. When you’re kind to yourself, you’re kinder to everyone else – you are a happier person. You are more fun to be around. Self-love helps you look after your mental and physical health.
You have the opportunity to find the right person for you
One failed relationship should not stop you from finding love again. Falling in love is one of the best experiences in life. After a broken relationship you are more certain of what you want in a new relationship: someone you deserve. It feels so good to be loved and admired by one special person. Having someone to love and share your experiences should be in the top of your wishing list. You can turn your life around by simply opening up to love again. So, make it happen.
You reunite with friends
You’re single, you can go out whenever you want and meet up with your friends. You can go out with no curfew, you have no one controlling you or no one to give explanations to. You can do it as you wish.
Create a new career
Like me, you may use your painful experience to create a new career. With my divorce experience I chose to become a Transformational Coach and help women around the world that go through the same. I have a lot of experience when it comes to relationship and motherhood. Being in a narcissistic relationship for twenty eight years caused me a lot of suffering but also gave me lessons for life that I’m now able to share with others. I normally say that my pain pushed me to look for a way out of pain, this led me to personal development, where I studied Positive Psychology, Paradigm Shifting, Spiritual Awakening, and more. I used suffering to work in my favour. And you can do the same, try to find out what you can learn from the experience and put it to work for you in a positive way.
Better relationship with your ex
Did you know that some people get to have a better relationship with their ex-husband or wife after a divorce? This is because there is a mutual respect that is developed after the break-up, you both realize that you are better off being friends than married, as it works better this way.
You become a better parent
While divorce will always be a complicated process, it can be much better than exposing children to a negative environment. It is unhealthy for children to witness their parents showing each other lack of respect and decency. As a parent, it is your responsibility to be a positive role model for your kids, and to be so you have to be in your best state of mind.
If parents want to do what is right for their children’s overall well-being, they will try and find a way to get along, or at least pretend to get along for the sake of their children once they are separated. When children are no longer being exposed to continuing aggression and resentment in their everyday living environment, they will feel more stable and confident. Of course, during divorce there is confusion and adjustments for the entire family, however, even taking all of the negatives into account, divorce can often be the best thing for everyone involved, including children.
You can improve your physical and mental health
Getting a divorce can also improve your physical and mental health. Strenuous relationships are huge causes of deteriorating health. A bad relationship can become incredibly stressful, and there is only so much stress that your body can take. With a divorce you are more able to focus and spend more time on yourself and improve your overall well-being.
You Become More Self-Aware
If you are interested in learning more about yourself, there is not a single better event to go through in your life than divorce. You will finally have the opportunity to understand what you need to be happy. As a married couple you were more focused on the needs of your spouse and the needs of your children, and focused on trying to keep the relationship together, not considering your own needs. Divorce will equip you with phenomenal coping skills, forcing you to turn your focus on you, which will prepare you for many different situations in the future. You will finally have a strong understanding of what you need in life, how much pain you can handle, and how to avoid toxic relationships. Divorce will equip you with strength and tenacity, you will be a pro at considering what’s best for you.
Feeling Confident Once Again
It’s normal to come out of a conflicting relationship feeling hurt and disappointed. Through arguments many things were said that shouldn’t have been said, and those hurtful and offensive words kept you in a bubble of insecurity. Once divorced and able to get rid of a negative influence in your life you will begin to see all of the greatest things about yourself, this will raise your confidence and help you appreciate yourself again.
All too often, we don’t recognize the opportunities in life. We see obstacles instead of openings. Divorce is a perfect example of hidden opportunities. At first you are unable to see what lies ahead of you because pain blinds you, but as you heal you will realize that the step of freeing yourself from what wasn’t good for you opens you up to a wide range of possibilities. The end of your relationship is an amazing opportunity for excitement and newness. Your mission now is to expand what’s possible and add fresh new horizons and interests into your life. Look ahead, what can you do for your life to make it better? Focus on finding good things to do, and meet positive people that will help enrich your days. Invest in something that will make you feel better every day.
Consider your freedom as an excellent opportunity to create a life you want, it can be the best time to redefine yourself, learn more of who you are, do things you love to do that you wouldn’t do when you were in the relationship, learn new skills, travel, meet new people (you never know what can emerge from there), and much more. You can see it as an opportunity to create your life in your own terms since you are now in total control.
What are you seeking? What do you need? Look around. Is your situation right now close to what you really want? If you look hard enough, you will see that you may have been gifted with the opportunity to restart in order to create the things that you always desired.