There are always pros and cons in a divorce, knowing them in advance can help you decide what’s best for you and your children, if you have any.
It’s not always easy to know whether it’s time to divorce, specifically because, it can be hard to tell whether the problems in your marriage can be solved or if they are too big to overcome.
If you are experiencing a tough time in your marriage and are particularly unhappy with your spouse, you might consider divorce to be a positive solution to your problems. The state of your marriage can make you focus more on the pros of the separation and ignore the cons. On the other hand, if you don’t want to divorce but are in a position where you have to consider it, you might want to know the advantages and disadvantages of getting a divorce.
Regardless of the state of your relationship, it is important to consider both sides of the coin, so that you can come up with a decision that you won’t regret later.
The pros of divorce:
Escape a violent situation – Putting an End to Abuse
If your spouse is abusive, whether emotionally or physically, it’s time to get yourself out of that situation. You can turn to the family court, this will be your easiest way out. No one should endure domestic abuse . Domestic abuse is a major reason to get a divorce, there are no cons to consider. There is nothing to look through when it comes to violence – abuse is abuse, your safety and well-being is at risk in this kind of situation, therefore your rescue should be a priority! You have the right to be in a place where you feel safe and free. There is no better choice than to get a divorce in this case, ASAP! Someone who hits you, screams at you, or threatens you does not love you. Your life will undoubtedly be better once you feel safe and secure.
Get the respect and love that you deserve
If you are married to a narcissist and considering divorce due to cheating, and unpleasant and harsh behaviour, which they won’t acknowledge or make any effort to change, getting a divorce is a big pro. You don’t want to continue in a situation where you’ll be rowing against the tide and deteriorating your mental health. There’s a better way of living, and you deserve that!
Freedom to live the life you want
Marriage is all about working together, not just in day to day life but also in working towards shared goals, communication and compromise. However, sometimes it can become impossible to easily attain these goals and commitments without having to give up something that might be extremely important to you individually. In this case getting a divorce can give you the opportunity to focus on your goals alone and live the life you want. Being independent can be more freeing and exciting.
Happy and Healthier Children
While divorce will always be a complicated process for children, it is a much better choice than exposing them to a negative environment. It is unhealthy for children to witness disrespect or violence between parents; it is traumatising and damaging. It is very very bad to expose them to such behaviour on a daily basis. Children deserve a safe and happy home. Even though the initial shock of divorce may hurt them, they may come to see it as a positive thing, since they can see both parents happy again.
Be in control of your finances
If you and your spouse struggle to be in tune with your finances you are most likely in constant disagreement when it comes to expenses and savings, having one of you blaming the other for money badly spent. It is stressful and frustrating having the other person doing the opposite of what you want. When it comes to money this can really be a big issue, this creates tension and resentment in the relationship. And staying together doesn’t fix things since both of you have completely opposite habits and beliefs. In this case, divorce can end the disagreement and bring both of you to sort things out in your own individual ways.
Date New People
Another reason in favour of divorce is that it allows you to rebuild a healthy and rewarding life with someone new. This gives you the opportunity to go after someone that meets your needs, and completes your life in general.
The cons of divorce:
The negative impact of divorce on your children
The number one cons of divorce is the impact that it causes on children. Children are the most affected when facing their parent’s break-up, this brings a sense of loss, they lose their whole way of life. They may feel angry at one or both parents for the relationship breakdown. Some feel guilty for their parents separation, they can feel rejected and insecure. They feel torn between both parents, and forced to live apart from one of the other parent.
Even if the parental relationship had been very tense or violent, children may still have mixed feelings about the separation. Many children hold onto the wish that their parents may get back together. This is awfully sad, you can try to help them cope with the family breakup, or both you and your spouse can lessen their burden by making their needs your number-one priority, both during and after your divorce. Acting civil, for the sake of the children during the process will help them cope better with the changes your family is about to undergo.
Financial challenge
Financial challenges as a result of divorce are common. You might have to tighten your finances after divorce since you will have to handle your expenses and responsibilities by yourself.
Emotional implications of divorce are tough
The emotional strain caused by divorce is hard, whether you were the one wanting the divorce or not, or whether you were apart from each other for some time, it is still extremely hard to face the breakup of your family and the end of hopes and dreams. The idea of being alone, or starting over might be challenging. Everything that you have worked for so far in your life has broken down, and if you have children, you’ll be likely to experience worry and guilt about how your divorce has impacted their lives.
To Finalise
Divorce is heartbreaking, whether you were the one initiating the breakup or not. The emotional implications will remain with you for a long time, and while they will dissolve in the future, it can be very challenging to handle a lot of muddled emotions for a while. It takes time to get over your old life and adjust to a new reality.
While divorce pros and cons are all relevant, it’s important not to avoid a necessary divorce because of the disadvantages, and vice versa. Taking time to assess its pros and cons can help you gain perspective and get you prepared to what you might face if you decide for a divorce. It can also help you take time to consider if whether a divorce is the right move, or not.