The heartache following a breakup can make us feel down and unmotivated. Even knowing that we did all we could to hold on to our marriage and realise that divorce is the only path forward, even so, it’s normal to feel stressed and depressed while you deal with the end of your long-term relationship.
Maintaining a self care routine during this phase can be quite a challenge. Being this an emotional and chaotic time in your life, finding the willingness and pleasure to look after yourself may be the least of your priorities right now. You may want to stay in bed and in your pyjamas the whole day, not looking forward for the day ahead, just wanting to be left alone in your grief, and nothing better than the comfort your own room for that, right? I understand, I get it, and it is okay to spend some time processing everything and figuring out how it’s going to be from now on.
I know It’s hard, it’s very hard to look after yourself when you have so much on your shoulder at the moment, but I want to encourage you and make you realise that if you take some time for yourself every day, for half an hour, or an hour just for you, you will certainly feel calmer and more centred to face whatever you need to face with more avidity. If I can convince you that a long walk in nature can do wonders to your mental health I believe you would want to give it a try, because suffering sucks, right?
Well, this is my role here, the purpose of this website is to bring a sparkle back in to your life, specially during this tough period where you are at most vulnerable. As an “experienced divorcee,” I can say that I have been through each stage of grief that you’re currently going through, and I have survived. More than survive, I have transformed my life for the better. I transformed my life with action, I took small steps that helped me feel better, steps that empowered me, that strengthened me and brought me confidence along the way. It was extremely hard to push myself to do things when my heart was shattered, and that’s why I understand you, and that is also why that as a survivor and as a coach i’m here to promise you that you will pull through.
Self-care will boost your mood. I want to convince you that even though feeling low there are small things you can still do to help yourself. Yes you have to push yourself to do it, you won’t have any motivation in the beginning but as you work on it it will become easier and you feel proud of yourself for not giving up in the midst of despair.
The best way to convince yourself to do something is to find a strong reason to why you have to do what you have to do, to know why you need to take a specific action, what goal do you want to reach, what is your purpose? How will achieving that goal, or do that special thing for yourself make you feel?
Taking long walks in nature for example, can improve your mental health, bring you peace of mind and make you feel grounded again. These are strong reasons, a good “why,” to why it is important to connect with nature every day. This is a simple suggestion of one thing that can help you, but you may have other things that may work better for you. As long as you find someway of helping yourself that is all that matters.
Why do I talk about walks in nature so much? Because it was what helped me regain my sanity and make me feel whole again when I was grieving. You may not know yet the magic in those walks, but I can assure you that it is powerful. Notice that nature has everything we need, it is peaceful, graceful, abundant, colourful, joyful and more.
Try spending time observing your emotions when you are in nature, express them if you need to, become fully present. Feel the wind blowing, notice the variety of flowers and plants around you, touch a tree, acknowledge where you’re standing, imagine earth’s powerful mantle that lays beneath your feet. It’s so magical! Try it for a month and send me an email to let me know how it made you feel.
When I was grieving my divorce I did that often, I tried to do things that would enhance my self-love, besides my walks in nature I would meditate, I also would do my nails every month in a nail salon close to my house, it was a way of pampering and rewarding myself for my effort. Even though I wasn’t looking to look my best I tried to at least look decent. I would take immersion baths and I would sit in silence, it was a form of self-care and soothing at the same time. As I recovered I got involved in other activities that I enjoyed.
Those small things that you can do for yourself can uplift you and make you feel better about yourself. I don’t mean for you to push too hard, that’s not what I mean, just do what you can do at the moment to help yourself. Self-love grows when we prioritise our own needs and do things that makes us feel good within.
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