Breakups are painful but they don’t have to leave you broken and hopeless. There are 3 Steps to getting through and over a break-up so that you may move forward with confidence:
1. Acknowledgment
It’s normal to have a roller coaster of mixed emotions. You have to acknowledge and understand that anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, confusion – just to name a few – are part of the normal, natural, and necessary grieving process. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the healing process. Give yourself some time to feel and to function at a less optimal level. You need time to heal and time to put your thoughts together. And it is at this stage that you most need someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. Sharing your feelings with a close friend or family can help you get through this difficult period. It is important to get support from someone who has been through the emotional ride of divorce to make the healing journey easier, this will massively reduce your tension. If for any reason you become worried about something then help is only a phone call away. It is a difficult time, divorce is an exhausting experience and you don’t want to go through it alone. Talking about how you feel will always make you feel better.
Allowing yourself to feel the pain of your loss may be scary, you may fear that your emotions will be too intense to bear, or that you’ll be stuck in a dark place forever and this is why grieving is essential to the healing process. The pain of grief is precisely what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. No matter how strong your grief is, it won’t last forever.
2. Breakup
Delete all forms of contact! After a breakup, it is tempting to go on social media to see what your ex is up to but this is something you want to avoid. Deleting all of their contacts is the best thing to do. Delete them on social media, delete their texts, delete their emails, even block them. You must do this for your own sake. Avoid all contacts, you don’t want any reminders of them in your life if you want to move on. Checking on them will cause you more damage than good. Doing so will be like scratching your wounds, this will delay your healing. The relationship is over, so you must want to turn the page and restart a new chapter in your life. What good will it do for you to know about them? Instead, focus on getting to know yourself again. Find out who you want to be now that you have a fresh start. Even though it hurts in the beginning you will eventually get over it, you just have to be patient, look after yourself, and allow time to do its job. Be happy that he is now some other woman’s problem and not yours, be thrilled instead about what’s coming next – definitely different and better.
3. Recovery
When you have finally grieved and mourned the relationship you’re ready to move on. You are ready to celebrate the opportunity to rediscover yourself. You’re ready to figure out what you like, ready to meet new people, and celebrate the opportunity to do things you were unable to do when you were in the relationship. You realize that you still have a future. Ultimately, as you work through your emotional issues, you are able to move forward and create a new and vibrant life. The good news is that after divorce new hopes and dreams will eventually emerge. You will be able to see the advantages of starting anew and the opportunity to chase your dreams, and this is how you will know you are moving forward – when you begin to build a life worth living.