
After a break-up, you want to figure out what you want for your life from then on. You’re willing to pick up the pieces and move on. This is the right time for you to figure out your future. It’s time to adjust and bring together your wants, your once lost dreams, do things you were unable to do while married, and explore your new world from a new perspective. But in order to face the world as a single woman, and in order to rebuild your life you have to take necessary steps that will strengthen you, and more importantly to take them with patience and understanding of yourself. You have wounds you want close, you have emotions that you need to deal with, you have traumas to overcome. So in order to restart there is one person that you should prioritize – and that person is you alone.
When my divorce came to terms I knew the pain wasn’t in vain, even in the midst of muddled emotions the best thing I could do was to let go of my past and start anew. I saw the benefits of being single again. I had been lost in the marriage and had barely any clue of how to be me without any kind of judgment or criticism. I had a lot of garbage to clear from my emotions in order to rebuild my confidence, and now I had this amazing opportunity to recover my identity and to make better choices for my new life.
To emerge as an empowered woman make sure you prioritize your well-being first.
Love yourself ! Don’t reject yourself after the divorce. Take care of yourself and meet your own needs – see yourself as worthy, good, valuable and deserving of happiness.
Find yourself again! Finding yourself may sound challenging but with self-care and patience you will rediscover your identity and learn to enjoy yourself again.
Start doing things you love doing, things that you liked doing that during the relationship you put them aside. Those interests are still there, so don’t stop doing them. Rediscover yourself by returning to those interests again and feel the joy of doing what you love. You have the opportunity now to:
- Go out with friends for a coffee and a good chat;
- Practice some activity (Zumba for me);
- Walk in the park while listening to good music with your headphones;
- Travel and explore beautiful places;
- Learn something new, something of your interest;
- Sit at the beach touching the sand with your feet and listening to sounds of the waves;
- Fall in love again…
There are so many good things to do and to experience in life, so many adventures lie ahead.
Meet a new side of yourself! Divorce is the perfect time to discover something new about yourself. What are the parts of self that you really want to grow into, or bring forward or live through? What places inside you that you know is you, that you would like to live and that you would like to bring out?
- Discover hidden talents;
- Find joy in giving, in doing something to help others;
- Create new habits
You know what ticks you inside, follow that feeling.
Don’ be afraid to be single
There is nothing scary about being single. It is a good time to transform and create a better version of yourself. You have the free choice of changing whatever you want in your life:
- Body-wise – eat healthily, build muscle, lose extra pounds, become more flexible;
- Mentally – choose thoughts that will serve you, change your mindset;
- Spiritually – pray, meditate, practice yoga, walk in nature.
These are just a few examples you may use to transform yourself in a positive way.
What about a new relationship?
When a relationship ends the tendency of many is to jump straight to the next. After ending a relationship it is good to give yourself time to heal and to be sure if you’re willing to have someone new in your life. Don’t feel pressured to jump to a new relationship, there are many benefits of being single and plenty to explore when you’re on your own. Put yourself in a good state of mind first, prioritize your well being, then you will be in the right position to make healthy choices, it will be easy to choose to date again or to remain single. Remember, it’s your life now and you are in total control.
Divorce is nothing bad or inappropriate. It’s a solution to a problem, one which will help both parties live happily and fulfilled lives. Marriage takes two, and if one person is unhappy then the other one will suffer, too. You may feel as though it’s the end of the world, but it’s just the beginning of a new life.
Now you have to rebuild your identity and self-esteem. You may feel lost and confused, unsure where to start recovering and reinventing yourself, yet it is the opportunity you need to figure out:
- Who am I?
- What do I love to do?
- How do I want to feel?
- Who do I want to be?
- what do I want to grow into, or bring forward or live through?
- What places inside me do I know is me, that I would like to live through and that I would like to bring out?
- How do I want to look in the world?
- How do I want to experience myself and express myself?
- Where do I want to be in my new life?
These are powerful questions that may help you find some clarity and help you decide your “what now” after divorce. Take this time to rebuild and re-emerge by being the best you that you’re meant to be.